Ever wonder if you were lonely?

I like my own company and I always have.  I’ve never minded spending time alone.  I think because of this, I wouldn’t know or recognize if I was really feeling lonely.

I do think there’s a loneliness that comes along with being creative or an artist.  If I had to label myself (although I think labels are for jars on shelves, not people), I’d definitely call myself a writer or poet, not an artist.  At any rate, anyone who creates has a lion’s share of time alone working on “the thing.”

There’s a concert in memory for George Harrison where Billy Preston sings “My Sweet Lord.”  It’s amazing.  He is joy personified in his performance.  All of the musicians paying tribute to George look pretty happy.  Now, Billy Preston has natural talent as a musician.  But behind that joyful performance, there has to be some loneliness.

There must’ve been times where he was alone for hours writing music or practicing piano, or just trying to figure out how to get the musical gifts locked in his mind out of his mind via his body.

This is the hardest, loneliest part for me, as a writer, the getting out.

Lingers No More

let it slide

let it fly

away

out

it floats

and turns

it hurts

and yearns

when it drops

comes back

gets on you

I’m ok

I get it all out

I get this all out of me

and it goes away

I think coaxing what needs to come out has a special, freeing feeling.  I think the price for this freeing, this cajoling out of what’s deep inside an artist comes with a price and the cost might be this specific, particular type of loneliness.  The more creative and free one becomes, perhaps, the more loneliness one endures.  It’s almost like with more work and more production, one’s island floats further and further from the masses.

painting-5

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